I splashed the water polluted with pesticides and un-ideal metals on my face, (not great for fighting the seven signs of aging, but at nineteen and this particular moment I really couldn't care less.) Instead of coming up with an inspiring self revelation as I looked in the mirror, I just have nothing. All I see is a face, lost in her own thoughts that are beginning to eat away at this once happy, bright and cheerful soul that used to dance and not wonder endlessly. It is a strange sight watching your vision disappear as the tears well up higher and higher and all that is left is a murky grey puddle to stare into. Without sounding too nostalgic, I feel like coming to India I have lost more of myself and found only things I do not like.
Currently this is nothing like the 'self-discovery' two month session one thought it may be. A little disappointing.
Being apart and away makes you doubt things no matter how sure of them you thought you were. I feared this. It is only natural though. This time it is myself I am reassuring.