Numbered sentences as to why womens' magazines are nonsensical:
1.) Why are we told what not to wear? Not to accessorize the accessory. What if I want to fucking accessories the shit out of the accessory? What if I don't want to accessorize at all?
2.) HARPERS BAZAAR: get back to me when you come up with something that's a little less sheer than Wolford sheers because YOUR RULES FOR THE NEW SEASON just aren't cutting it. I don't want rules.
3.) I could go on but then I'd be wasting my time writing about something that really grinds my gears.
Buy NAT GEO.